Is Someone You Know Having an Affair? Read This Now!

If you, or someone you know is currently in the throes of an affair, READ THIS!

What do people think?  Do they really believe they can play a cat and mouse game and forever deceive their spouse?  How does a person in the grip of an affair convince themselves that their secret will always remain a secret?  As bizarre at this may sound, this happens until the fantasy comes to a screeching stop.  Who is this person? [CLICK TO READ MORE]

Infidelity: Is the grass REALLY greener?

The numbers speak for themselves and the common beliefs about infidelity are just not true. Some cheaters say they are looking for love, others seek acceptance and others say they want to feel better.  Some want all of the above.  For most, something is not right in their life and often it is their partner who gets blamed.  The affair partner is considered the new messiah and believed to be the only person capable of understanding the cheater and giving them what they need.
However, current statistics show that the beliefs held by the cheater are almost always part of what I refer to as “the great illusion”, a devastating force that has the potential to destroy families and unsettle innocent lives.


Too Little Too Late

People who cheat are taking a risk and walking a fine line they frequently take it too far.  They believe that time is on their side and they find themselves caught in a web that leads them to a place where they say, “I don’t know what to do”, and they don’t. Many say that their marriage is good and they are unable to identify any specific reasons why they should not end the affair and remain with their spouse.  They are confused.  Why?


Do You Want to Live Your Life to the Fullest?

Do you want to live your life to the fullest?  I do and I bet you would like to as well, but what I learned recently is that most people don’t.

Last week while exploring Pelee Island in Ontario, Canada on a tandem bicycle with my wife, I noticed a grey house with the words, “WHY NOT” on it.  The words captured my attention and instantly I had a thought that I feel compelled to share.


The Problem with Social Media and Connection

With the emphasis that people are putting on social media we are losing the ability to communicate effectively.  Staples of every day communication such as intimacy and empathy previously valued are eroding.  People who lacked interactive skills were thought to be rare but because of social media, it is unfortunately becoming more and more  common.  It is frightening to think where this will lead.

In therapy one or both partners may say “we don’t talk anymore”, or “I don’t know what he’s (or she’s) thinking”.  We are witnessing a problem that is at least partially a result of social media because people are being trained to express themselves in 140 characters or less and describe an emotion with the click on an emoticon.  Today we know of studies that prove that this results in changes in the brain chemistry and that centers of the brain responsible for emotion are not developing as they did in the past.  In the process we are losing the ability to communicate with empathy and compassion.  The future is not bright. [CLICK TO READ MORE]

It is Time to Say, Enough and No More!

Bill Cosby, Jian Ghomeshi and Elliot Spitzer, …three high profile, successful public figures who, if they weren’t known to you before, are known widely now.  The list continues to grow and one can only wonder, who will be next? When people are shamed, we pay attention wanting to know each and every detail.  When people are shamed for doing things that are outrageous, our curiosity peaks and many of us are quick to cast judgment.

It is so sad when a person acts in a manner that destroys their life either in a legal courtroom or in the court of public opinion.  Clearly we are ultimately responsible for the choices we make and for the actions we take.  Still, it is sad for the person directly involved and it is a sad commentary about the society in which we live.  An important question that ought to be considered by each of us is whether these [CLICK TO READ MORE]